2020-11-28 06:02

Grave puzzles, nothing self-contained. The window suggests the pen. The wine glass implies the candle.

(2005-06-12)

poem
2020-11-24 08:43

Even though it would loose
the moon’s grip on the tides: events:
leaving series. A coin spun and set.
You, eventually. Begun,
had never understood,
had numbed: ever
shifting books and ledgers.
Open all books, everyone
knows perfectly: everything.

(2004-08-08)

cutup poem persona
2020-11-17 11:50

Are you looking through the bent-back tulips to see how the other half lives? Well, now you can satisfy your literary voyeurism without all that skulking under windows or peering furtively through the hedge!

I was featured yesterday at My (Small Press) Writing Day.

meta
2020-11-17 06:56

Reversing the impulse
to do
violence

Is this just
another cheap
imitator

on a rampage
Can we
pause

Must we look
No wonder
birds

hate us so
Look up
there

Syllables are overrated
So am
I

(2004-05-07)

haynaku poem persona
2020-11-13 05:58

Gradually we notice the grasp of everything.
They could be everything.
Everything began spending, all afternoon,
began to evoke the grave crimes of

evolution. Blind.

Exactly what fails in film
is still held hostage.
Except as self, not as other.

Except with humans, excited anonymity.

(2004-08-01)

cutup poem persona
2020-11-10 06:00

The blank. This
is the heart of the remembrance.
I open my eyes from
introspection: the same: the
identity of this nothing.

(2004-03-11)

poem persona
2020-11-06 05:54

and so I
leave no
mark

(2006-01-22)

haynaku poem
2020-11-04 06:41

She says: I’m
stuck in
this

spot.
Her friend
tells her: You

have permission to
leave that
spot.

(2005-06-11)

haynaku poem persona
2020-11-02 06:56

Massive storms, lightning,
sleet. Undone

within hours. Terminal
joy, undocumented

in any concordance.
These ponderous

symphonies, untroubled by
tonality. Humiliated

and reduced. Unexpected
consequences? Light,

negligent dreams, unhindered
by morals.

(2004-05-12)

poem persona
2020-11-01 07:00

How I Build Things

(This is the second half of whatever this is. The first part is here.)

(2)

But this year has been different.

Beginning in February, I stopped keeping an Ongoing notebook with me. I was just filling it with rants about the repugnant slug in the White House, or Covid. I’d stayed with it for a while, thinking that by letting those thoughts have their time, I could get them out of my head and I could move on with my morning. This had worked in the past. But now I found it actually amplified these thoughts, cementing them more firmly, which set the grim, desperate tone for the morning and for the day.

I decided I simply didn’t need to record these thoughts. It’s difficult for a writer to think that it’s okay not to write. But it is okay: let it flow past with the current. Watch it, but let it go.

Then, in March, I needed to prepare my home office to accommodate video conferencing when my day job switched to Distance Learning. As I shuffled things around, I discovered to my surprise that I had twenty-three Ongoing notebooks, going back to roughly 2011, which I had hardly been reviewing enough over the last few years. Instead, for most of this last decade, I was pushing on, filling more pages, filling more notebooks, with hardly a backward glance. How many poems were lying hidden in those years of messy first drafts? I decided to take some time to look at them again. I gathered them together — and, in the boring excitement that was March through May, I forgot about them.

In June, I noticed the stack in the corner, and I carried them to the kitchen table and finally got to work. Since late June, then, I have been slowly working my way through the Ongoings, an hour or so each weekend, two or three notebooks at a time.

Here’s what I’m doing.

  1. I skim each page with a red pen and post-it flags. If a passage, sentence, or a word catches my eye, I draw a quick red line down the margin, or box it, then flag the page.
  2. When I finish a notebook, I go back and cut the flagged pages out of the notebook and toss the excised sheets in a folder.
  3. After going through seven or ten notebooks, I quickly sort the accumulated loose sheets into three groups:
    • “poem”
    • “essay/blog”
    • “???”

The key to these first three steps is quickly. I move fast and I don’t think too much. Thinking is for later. Am I going to miss some good stuff? Maybe. But what’s “good” anyway? I’m looking for interesting, for puzzling, for confounding. And if I overlook something, I’m not worried. It’ll be there the next time I pass through the notebooks. And my definition of “good” and my preoccupations will have shifted, so different things will catch my attention.

Okay, so now I have three stacks. This is what I do next — and, again, I try to move as quickly as possible:

  1. I go through each stack and sort them into smaller groups:
    • beginnings and endings
    • fragments in search of other fragments
    • rough but whole

But what do I mean by “beginnings and endings”? And how do I know which fragments are seeking other fragments and which are just… fragments? Good questions. I don’t know, and I don’t really need to know. I’m basically chick-sexing here. It isn’t my job during the sorting to be able to defend why any fragment is going into one category rather than another. It doesn’t even matter if I’m wrong. The important thing is to put them somewhere.

And by putting the fragments into these broad, rough categories, I’m making the next stage just a little easier. That is, now I have fragments that are waiting either to be assembled, or expanded, or simply polished. This means I have a fairly good idea which activity I’ll be engaging in before I’ve even read a syllable of text.

Each of these — assembling, expanding, polishing — are, of course, very different activities and they involve different creative strategies. By matching the work with my energy level, I will be just a little less likely to burn out or feel overwhelmed as I begin my editing, or composing, or remixing.


This was a fairly easy process to develop, since it was a simplified, stripped down version of how I almost always build everything — songs, poems, essays, even email messages. I let fragments accrete then I allow coherence to develop through the accident of proximity. I listen for any odd or jarring leaps and I reshuffle things, either filling in those gaps or making the gaps wider.

The clean, chronological narrative of a final draft of writing is an illusion. We start with hunches and look for ways to explain them. Thoughts begin within webs of associations, and only later do we, with any luck, discover the strong supporting evidence that built them.

We start with meandering paths and dead ends, and only later do we present the final “short cut” that got us from there, to there, to there, to here. Whether you do all that wandering and orienteering “in your head” or on sheet after sheet of messy notebook pages, the work is unlikely to proceed in the orderly and logical progressions we present in our fastidious, crisp, spell-checked final drafts. Even logic is not nearly as logical as we think it is. There are wild, shocking leaps in even the simplest of syllogisms. We just craft them to seem like the leaps were inevitable. And who’s to say they weren’t? It all depends on where you were trying to leap to.

process art